When Stephanie Lambert’s oldest son came home from school upset from being bullied, she wanted to comfort him like any mother would.
The Redmond resident said her son felt like a victim from his bullying. Instead of focusing on the things that he couldn’t control — such as the bully’s behaviors — she advised her son to focus on what he could control — how he thought and felt about the bullying.
“In elementary school, they talk about anti-bullying, which of course is extremely important,” Lambert said. “But I wanted to have the other side of the conversation — how you handle how you feel about the situation.”
This inspired her to write her book, “Your Mind Flashlight: A User’s Guide.”
Using simple concepts, age-appropriate examples and graphics, “Flashlight” is designed to help young people and the adults who love them understand the powerful connection between thoughts and feelings; and how feelings direct people in making the many small and big choices they face daily.
Lambert said research done on mental health in children shows that anxiety and depression has become a growing problem. Her son has been affected by this issue.
“Helping him deal with negative thoughts, low self-esteem, anxiety, bullies and other challenging life circumstances motivated me to come up with an easy-to-understand concept and tool for him to use to feel more empowered and less like a victim,” she said. “I’m on a mission to help as many kids, teens and the adults recognize and harness the power they have over their thoughts, feelings and their lives.”
Dr. Martha Schlesinger, a licensed psychologist of more than 30 years said the book is well needed.
“[It’s] a brilliant, practical guide to help young people find their own power,” she said in a statement. “It provides a creative and effective tool to help our kids, and ourselves as well, become empowered in a complex world.”
Lambert’s book highlights and explains how people can combat negative thoughts by developing several tools, including: taking control over their thoughts, taking responsibility of their feelings, strengthening their confidence, building their resiliency and crafting the life they want to live.
Lambert said she spent a year working on the book. With her background in life coaching with Bold Moms and her experience as a high school marketing teacher, she said the concepts and the examples for the book came without much challenge.
“I remember when I first came up with the idea of using a flashlight for the concept,” Lambert said. “Flashlights illuminate what we see, but we have the power to point the flashlight where we want. So we get to choose where to point our flashlight and focus on what we can control.”
“The great thing about this book is that it can help adults too — it’s not just for kids,” she said.
Dhaarmika Coelho, president and founder of Camp Kindness Counts, agreed.
“It’s a simple and fun way to empower kids to take control of their emotions instead of [letting] their emotions control them,” she said.
For Lambert, she said she’s most enjoyed receiving feedback from moms saying that it helped them better understand themselves and their kids.
Lambert plans on expanding on “Your Mind Flashlight: A User’s Guide” and creating free materials for teachers to use to better help their students.
The book was published late January and is available on Amazon and Balboa Press.