Take responsibility: Tips for shopping with your children

Published 3:14 pm Thursday, May 19, 2011

As a mother of two, grandmother of two, and preschool teacher for 20 years, I am very aware of the frustrations that Lana Kogan expressed in her May 13 letter to the editor regarding dealing with the temptations children might encounter in checkout lines.

Unfortunately, those temptations are a reality at most retail stores, and the merchandise is not just down low and geared toward children. There are magazines, gadgets and candy that many adults find extremely tempting as well. It does seem to be a regular merchandising practice, and I have often made “impulse purchases” for myself.

While I don’t believe that regulating store displays, as Ms. Kogan suggests, is necessary, perhaps I might offer a few tried and true suggestions for shopping with young children to provide Ms. Kogan and others with more choices than simply having to “cave in” or deal with a young child’s tantrum.

The first, and easiest way to avoid the temptations altogether, is, of course, to leave the child in the care of a trusted friend, relative or caregiver while you are running errands for your business.

If you do plan to shop with your child, it is always a good idea to make sure that he or she is well rested and fed before venturing out. And do try to make the shopping trip as short as possible.

Before heading out, remind your child of the things that you will be shopping for. Perhaps have the child cross the items off a list. Many parents offer their child a treat of some sort at the end of the shopping trip as a reward for appropriate behavior. The treat can be anything of the parent’s choosing, from a sticker to a special game time at home.

Children are naturally curious, and it is good to encourage that curiosity by discussing the things your child finds interesting. This is a good time to remind your child, however, that the merchandise in a store does not belong to them, and should not be touched. Use the time waiting in line to talk with your child about the colors and textures they see, perhaps making up songs or rhymes about them. If you consistently engage your child in this way, you will not have the issue of them playing with things they shouldn’t.

Temptations will be around your child at every turn in their lives, not just in checkout lines. The consequences for giving in to those temptations will be greater the older they get.

The best lesson you can give a young child is that sometimes an answer of “no” is in their very best interest. Let your child know that you are on their side, and guide them with loving discipline.

The tears will lessen, and your heart can be at peace, knowing that you are helping to teach your child that he or she has the power to make wise and moral choices.

Julie Westwater, Redmond