Tis the season for bah humbug

Tis the season once again and I finally figured out how to deal with all the holiday spirit abounding: Just say “bah humbug” to everything (with a nod to Charles and Ebenezer).

So I’m in Target and the shopping carts barely fit through the skinny aisles. People park them in no-man’s land then stand around in a semi-comatose state, gabbing on their cell phones, totally oblivious to those of us trying to navigate those skinny aisles. Bah humbug.

Then I go out to my car, parked in another galaxy far, far away, and next to it is a huge truck with about one inch of space between us. The driver must have decided he would annoy whoever drove the gray Jeep and parked so close to me that you wonder how he got out his driver’s side door. Bah humbug again.

And I’m all ready to key the side of his truck but the wife is sitting in the front seat and this dude comes lumbering along with a huge cart and starts to load up the back and I loudly say I doubt if I can open my door but he pays no attention to me so I peel out of my parking spot trying to graze him while hoping his truck won’t start.

And all I was trying to do was buy Christmas gifts for a Salvation Army giving tree at my office. Bah humbug!

So I have decided from now on I will wait until after Jan. 1 to go to Target or any store with a parking lot and crowds. I will mail a check to the charity. I will not say “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Season’s Greetings” or any facsimile thereof.

I will cloister myself in front of the TV, remote in hand, and watch every Christmas movie ever made. I will no longer put myself out there in the clutches of the evil holiday shoppers so I won’t ever again have to “bah humbug” anything.

Oh wait. I forgot to look for something at Target. I wonder if Wal-Mart carries it in case Target is out?

Judy Ziedman, Woodinville